SHROPSHIRE, UK – Mike Stevens, a 67 year old male has been issued with a health and safety notice and has been informed that he will not receive any more mail unless he trims back his “aggressive” raspberry bush which postal workers seem to find, “intimidating and threatening.”
‘It is the postal service making the problem, not my raspberries, they are not malicious. I have got raspberries all around my garden and all of a sudden they have sprung up around my letter box. The Royal Mail say it is dangerous. They came round and told me they were aggressive raspberries. It was a visit out of the blue. I have got a fierce growth apparently and the postmen are intimidated and threatened by it. But at the end of the day they are just raspberries and they taste lovely.’
A Royal Mail spokesman said the following ;
‘[We] will not compromise on the health and safety of our postmen and women.’
I can think of plenty of things I find intimidating, a raspberry bush does not come to mind though. However, at least Mr. Stevens had the common courtesy to offer some free raspberry to the postie delivering or attempting to deliver his letters through a garden which he described as something similar to Narnia but sadly they are not having any of it.
‘I’ve told the postmen they are more than welcome to help themselves to a punnet of them but they are having none of it. But they haven’t got any thorns on them and they are not like nasty brambles so I don’t see what the problem is.’
In other news, parcel force apparently did not have any problems getting past the bush and seem to think the experience is mildly exciting compared to other monotonous drive ways.
– Mark Dalton