Woman turns up alive days after her own funeral

VIA METRO.CO.UK – It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions for one family in Philadelphia, who put their 50-year-old relative to rest – only to find out 13 days after the funeral that she was alive and well.

Sharolyn Jackon was reported missing on July 18, when two days later a body fitting her description was found by officers on a street.

Jackson’s son Travis and a social worker positively identified the body and spent the following days and weeks arranging the funeral.

They buried what they believed to be their relative – but were stunned two weeks ago when officials told them that Jackson had walked into a mental health facility in the city.

‘You feel that you’re just about to get over it, that she’s dead – and then Travis comes here with the news that she’s alive,’ said her father, Dave Minnie.

‘We were happy that our daughter was alive, but we were also unhappy on account of the person that we buried.’

The authorities do not know the identity of the person who was in fact buried, and have placed a request for the body to be exhumed.

It is understood that the woman had died of natural causes and an investigation has been launched.

What do you guys think about this? Let us know in the comments.

@_MarkDalton
@ATDNews

Advertisements

Ex convict sneaking into jails

VIA ABC NEWS – A convicted sex offender who repeatedly used phony correction department credentials to gain entry into New York City jails has been sentenced to 10 years in prison.

Matthew Matagrano was sentenced Thursday. The 36-year-old Yonkers resident pleaded guilty last month to posing as a correction officer and sneaking into the Manhattan Detention Center, where he mingled with inmates for hours.

During a Feb. 27 visit Matagrano assaulted an inmate and stole a $2,500 walkie-talkie. He also handed out cigarettes to inmates.

Matagrano’s rap sheet includes a conviction for sodomy and sexual abuse. Police statements released in court report Matagrano said he repeatedly sneaked into jails because the people inside were “nice” and made him “feel important.”

Man blows up house while inflating air mattress

VIA METRO.CO.UK – Spare a thought for this German man, whose house move went from bad to worse after a mattress he was trying to inflate violently blew up – landing him with a six-figure repair bill.

The 41-year-old, who has not been named, was thrown across the room as the explosion blew out all the doors and windows of the building.

Having moved to a new town, the man had hardly any furniture so bought an inflatable mattress to sleep on temporarily.

After realising that the mattress was punctured, he used an industrial strength puncture repair spray and tyre sealant.

Unbeknownst to him, however, the product caused a violent reaction when heated by the built-in motor pump.

The explosion chucked him across the room, blasted out windows and ripped doors from their hinges, causing €150,000 (£130,000) worth of damage – in a property that’s not his.

The unlucky man had to be taken to hospital and was treated for minor cuts and an injured wrist, according to Bild newspaper.

The house, located in the town of Diepholz in Lower Saxony, only had shards of glass left in the window frames, while tiles from the roof were scattered on the floor and curtains were ripped from their poles.

Things could now get even worse for the man, after unsympathetic prosecutors said they were considering taking legal action against him.

What do you guys think about this? Let us know in the comments below.

@_MarkDalton
@ATDNews

Nipple tassels set off fire alarm

VIA HUFFPOST – It’s the goal of a burlesque dancer to get the audience hot and bothered, but one pastie-wearing performer succeeded in ways she never expected — by setting off smoke alarms.

The performer, Go Go Amy, recently did a show at Abertay University in Dundee, Scotland, with her troupe, The Pretty Things PeepShow.

Go Go Amy’s act climaxed with a fire dance that included her lighting up her nipple tassels.

After she was done performing, the smoke from the flaming nipple tassels lingered in the air and set off the building’s alarms, forcing hundreds of customers to be evacuated, according to the Metro.

“I usually look for smoke alarms above the stage,” she told The Huffington Post. “I didn’t see there was one behind me.”

Ky Thomasson-Kay blames the alarming incident to miscommunication.

“They weren’t meant to use fire in the act but I think they just completely forgot,” he said according to the Daily Record. “When the fire alarm went off everybody had to go outside. Everybody was wondering what happened and when the news trickled through to the crowd, people were having a joke and a smile about it.”

Go Go Amy has been playing with fire onstage for five years and has set off her share of alarms in the past.

“Usually, we’re at nightclubs so if the alarm goes off, people know what’s causing it,” she said. “Because we were performing at a school, the alarm immediately went to the local police station.

Firefighters who responded to the alarms quickly figured out what really happened. Head firefighter Blair Fletcher told the Express that the smoke alarms in the building were very sensitive.

Go Go Amy said she made sure to explain the situation to the firefighters herself.

“It’s probably the first time a woman in a bikini ran up to a firefighter and said, ‘It’s my fault. I was eating fire, but I won’t do it [again] until I get back to the states,'” she said.

What do you guys think about this? Let us know in the comments.

@_MarkDalton
@ATDNews

Exorcism with penis

VIA HUFFPOST – Who you gonna call? NOT this guy.

Huang Jianjun was arrested this month in China’s Guangdong Province for allegedly convincing a woman that his penis could get rid of evil spirits in her vagina, according to a translation of the Southern Metropolis Daily by the Global Times.

The victim allegedly came to the self-described “Ghostbuster” because she needed help seducing her boss who she had a crush on. That’s when Jianjun allegedly pitched the unorthodox exorcism idea.

From the Global Times:

Huang then convinced [the victim] to have intercourse after explaining that ghosts in her vagina are preventing her boss from falling in love with her – ghosts he could only catch with his penis

Jianjun allegedly told authorities he couldn’t have had sex with the victim because diabetes prevents him from achieving an erection. As TNT Down Under surmises, “So it turns out he wouldn’t have been able to help with the ghost problem after all.”

The story has also caused the Frisky’s Ami Angelowicz to breakup with the so-called buster of ghosts.

“Huang, you have crossed the line. You are a sick f–k,” Angelowicz writes in an angry letter announcing the severing of her romantic ties with Jianjun.

What do you guys think about this? Let us know in the comments below.

@_MarkDalton
@ATDNews

WATCH: Ducks escorted off road by police

No further explanation is necessary, check out the video below

 

Woman dislocates jaw eating a big burger

VIA MIRROR.CO.UK – A woman bit off more than she could chew when she tried to eat a giant triple decker burger – and dislocated her jaw.

In a Man Versus Food style moment, Nicola Peate attempted to get her chops round the massive meat feast on a work night out in Liverpool.

But it turned out she’d bitten off more than she could chew and the 25-year-old suddenly felt an excruciating pain.

She initially laughed it off the pain, but it became “unbearable” the next day and she was taken to A+E.

620-burger-2192632

An x-ray showed the jaw was dislocated and a doctor had to manipulate it back into place.

Now she’s been advised to cut up her food a bit smaller, stifle yawns and avoid opening her jaw too far.

“I didn’t think I’d dislocated it – you don’t expect it to happen eating a burger,” Nicola, from Ormskirk in West Lancashire, told the Liverpool Echo.

“But I tried to eat it with a knife and fork and couldn’t.

“I couldn’t open my mouth fully.

“It felt like I had cramp in my tongue, then I started to get an ear ache and a headache.

“The next morning I woke up and felt really, really ill. The whole side of my head was hurting.

“Then it started to feel like it was in my jaw and I knew I’d dislocated it.”

Nicola, who suffers from Ehlers Danlos syndrome, has hyper-flexible joints, which are more prone to dislocation than other people’s.

“Thankfully, incidents such as this are rare, said Kathryn Clark, Clinical director of the Emergency Department at the Royal Liverpool University Hpspital where Nicola was treaded.

“If food is too large, we would recommend cutting it into more manageable chunks, particularly if you have Elhers-danlos syndrome.”

A spokeswoman for Almost Famous, the Liverpool restaurant where the injury happened, said people often joked the burgers were big enough to dislocate a jaw – but it was the first actual case they’d ever had.

She said: “We all had a massive cringe at the thought of someone’s jaw being popped back into place, but we’re all really glad Nicola is okay.”

What do you guys think? Was she just biting off more than she could chew? Let us know in the comments below.
@_MarkDalton
@ATDNews

French fries in 90 seconds!

VIA METRO.CO.UK – Fast food just got that little bit faster with a vending machine that promises to produce hot French fries in 90 seconds.

The new coin-operated apparatus in Belgium is not the first of its kind, but it is said to be the only one that uses beef fat to cook its fries.

It will cost you €2.50 (£2.13) for a 135g pot, which comes with a pick of ketchup or mayonnaise.

ay_116420592

BreakTime Solutions, the company behind the project, said the machine had been thoroughly vetted before being installed near a supermarket in Brussels.

‘This device was tested in India and in Romania,’ the company’s distributor Tuline Bey said.

It is yet to be seen how successful the machine will be and whether it will be rolled out in other European countries.

But if everything goes as planned, BreakTime Solutions has promised to make other foods available.

‘At a later stage, we plan to offer machines with two deep fryers that would enable us to cook croquettes, such as nuggets,’ Ms Bey added.

What do you guys think? Convenience? Or do we just want stuff right then right there in today’s modern society? Let us know in the comments below.

@_MarkDalton
@ATDNews

sauce – http://metro.co.uk/2013/08/19/vending-machine-produces-hot-chips-in-90-seconds-using-beef-fat-3929394/

Fork in penis

VIA HUFFPOST – Men of the world, here’s a piece of advice: There are many ways to bring happiness to your Johnson, but sticking a fork into it isn’t one of them.

Just ask this 70-year-old Australian man who was rushed to the hospital after he attempted that very feat:

o-MAN-FORK-URETHRA-570

According to a report published in the International Journal of Surgery Cases earlier this month, the Canberra man was admitted to the hospital with “bleeding urethral meatus” after he stuffed a 4-inch fork into his urethra in an attempt to “achieve sexual gratification.”

Fortunately, the report says the fork was successfully removed using forceps and “copious lubrication.”

According to the report’s authors, this isn’t the first time that a man has attempted to insert a foreign object into his nether regions. Pens, safety pins, telephone cables, glue, cocaine, straws, marbles, light bulbs, carrots and snakes, among other strange things, have allegedly been found stuck in penises in the past.

“It is apparent that the human mind is inhibited let alone creative,” the authors concluded.

Needless to say, wedging objects into one’s penis is a hazardous activity. According to a 2010 study on the subject, the “urological consequences of this type of behavior can be significant and the implications for patients can be serious including death from sepsis.”

What do you guys think? Can you believe someone would do something like this? Let us know in the comments below.

WATCH: The Defranco proposal

I am a big Philip Defranco fan so when he proposed to his girlfriend Lindsay (now fiancé) at one of his live shows in Arizona at the weekend I couldn’t help but post it, check out the short video below.

At the end of my DeFranco Does Arizona show I planted a question to be asked bc I wanted to propose to Lindsay (My gf of 6 years). This is a quick video I cut really fast so I could share the new best moment of my life. A longer better video will be up at a later time but in the meantime…sex stuffs. Love yo faces Nation and I’ll see you Monday 😉